- "The Coopers. The Stepfords of Riverdale. High school sweethearts, who got married, and had two beautiful daughters, Polly and Betty. Until Jason Blossom happened."
- —Jughead Jones
THE BEST LAID PLANS — As Fred and his crew are about to start construction he loses his crew, which could put his livelihood in jeopardy. Wanting to help his dad, Archie and his friends pitch in to help but after one of them is attacked, the gang comes up with a plan that lands them in Southside Serpent territory. With Jughead’s secret revealed, he is worried about how his friends will react. Meanwhile, Veronica and Betty suggest throwing Polly a baby shower to make her feel better, but Polly is hesitant knowing how everyone feels.
- KJ Apa as Archie Andrews
- Lili Reinhart as Betty Cooper
- Camila Mendes as Veronica Lodge
- Cole Sprouse as Jughead Jones
- Marisol Nichols as Hermione Lodge
- Madelaine Petsch as Cheryl Blossom
- Madchen Amick as Alice Cooper
- Luke Perry as Fred Andrews
- Casey Cott as Kevin Keller
- Martin Cummins as Sheriff Keller
- Skeet Ulrich as FP Jones
- Nathalie Boltt as Penelope Blossom
- Asha Bromfield as Melody Valentine
- Barclay Hope as Cliff Blossom
- Hayley Law as Valerie Brown
- Lochlyn Munro as Hal Cooper
- Rob Raco as Joaquin
- Christopher Rosamond as Mustang
- Tiera Skovbye as Polly Cooper
- Barbara Wallace as Rose Blossom
- Bruce Blain as Vic
- Cody Kearsley as Moose Mason
- Caitlin Mitchell-Markovitch as Ginger Lopez
- Ardy Ramezani as Quarterback
- Olivia Ryan Stern as Tina Patel
- Alvin Sanders as Pop Tate
- Jason Simpson as Serpent Bartender
- Trevor Stines as Jason Blossom
- Archie: "War is hell, Jug."
- Jughead : "[scoffs] No, Archie. Hell is other people."
- ―Archie and Jughead play videogames
- "The Blossoms, and the Coopers, in our pre-war apartment, it'll be a bloodbath! They've been Hatfields and McCoys since long before Polly was pregnant."
- —Hermione warns Veronica of the Blossom-Cooper feud
- Betty: "You're sweet to be here, I know this isn't exactly you're scene."
- Jughead: "What? Organising a baby shower? It's totally on my bucket list."
- ―Betty to Jughead at Polly's baby shower
- Rose Blossom: "This necklace reads the baby's aura, predicts the sex."
- Cheryl: "Nana has dementia and gypsy blood."
- Rose: "Oh!"
- Polly: "What?! Is my baby okay?"
- Rose: "Babies. It's twins. One of each."
- Alice: "This is occultism at its most ludicrous."
- ―Rose Blossom uses a crystal to predict the sex of Polly's baby
- The title for this chapter is named after the S. E. Hinton novel which in turn was adapted into the 1983 film.
- Archie and Valerie begin dating this episode.